Lost Girl

Somewhere, and I can't pinpoint where or when, I've lost myself. I took a good hard look at myself in the mirror and have come to realize that I'm not happy with the person I'm looking at in the mirror. I'm still a good person, daughter, friend, etc. My morals are still in tact. However, the outside me and the caring about me is lost. I've been complaining lately that all I do is work but really that's my own fault. I seem to have forgotten who I am, except for work. I don't know if it was when I was being comfortable in being in a long-term for me relationship. Whether it was losing that comfort. Whether it was taking a new job with more responsible and having to focus on learning that. Or whether it was when I broke my ankle and had to be confined to live with my mother for three months. More likely it was just a combo of all those things and more but a gradual change. Since I can't live like this anymore and I am definitely one who feels the need to change things that just wallow and live with them. I'm going to start working on it and start focusing on me.

1. I went shopping on Saturday night and bought new make-up. I'm going to make it my point to put on make-up every day that I leave the house.

2. On Thursday, I'm getting a whole new do and getting my wild and crazy eye brows waxed.

3. This weekend, I am going to turn the empty room in the basement into a gym. Time to pull out the treadmill and slowly start working on that. I say slowly because my ankle is still recovering. I'm also going to start doing pilates again which will be gentle on my ankle.

4. Since I've just done my taxes and am actually doing pretty well this year. I'm going to take a little bit of it and go shopping. I've decided it's time to stop buying cheaper clothes that are just going to have to be replaced every year and instead buy simple more expensive pieces that are made well.

I know that all this stuff sounds so shallow but sometimes you just need to fix the outside. The better the outside, the more it will seep into the inside. I just need to start caring more about myself and like the person again I'm looking in the mirror at.