Sucky, sucky (and not in a good way)

Well, I'm sorry to all that I haven't been blogging lately but I've been in a piss-ass mood and not fit for company. So why the piss-ass mood

1. Work: That's the major reason. I knew when I took this job that it would be some funky hours and that I can deal with. What I can't deal with is having funky hours, not having a life AND being a verbal punching bag. The good thing about this year in my job is that I have decided that I definitely do not want to own my own autism agency and I miss teaching. So I have been sending out resumes with avengence hoping to find a new job. I just can't take it anymore. I'm miserable.

2. love life: or lack there of. I have my once a month date with the Guy With No Future. Nice guy, we have a good time together but he has two kids he hasn't seen in over a year. In my book, that is not a guy that I can have a future with. However, I have decided that why does every date have to be with someone with a future? So I have a once a month date with The Guy With No Future, mostly once a month cause his schedule is busier than mine (he manages a restaurant and works tons).

3. Overall Mood: BAD, BAD, BAD. I'm bitter, angry, and I cry a lot. Overall I suck. I spent last week, going back to smoking. I quit smoking in 2000 and now I'm a drunk smoker. When i've had two much to drink, I steal cigarettes, take two or three puffs and say "ewww, I don't want this." (It's actually funny, I've taken cigarette's out of male strangers mouths at bars - and have never gotten decked, sometimes funny looks but normally then a conversation....my theory is if I steal a cigarette out of your mouth, I'm obliged to talk with you). Last week, I was so upset and stressed, I smoked like a chimney. I even went out and bought a pack. Last night, I bought another pack and was sitting a friends house watching a movie, when I thought "what the heck am I doing" and gave her the cigs.

So basically life sucks big time!!!!