Let The Music Roar!!

Have you ever noticed that your taste in music changes with your mood? When I'm happy, I listen to music that peps me up and I stay that way. When I'm sad, I listen to sad music. Most people would say that the sad music keeps me in that state but the truth is I think when life has handed you a shitty time you have to deal with it before you can move on. However you need to deal with it in your own darn time. Sad music keeps me from crying over the stuff I have to deal with. It focuses me on how others are feeling and then I don't have to deal with my own crap in my life. It keeps my emotions in check until I'm ready to deal with them. Then I can shut off the radio, cd, computer, etc. and deal with the emotions. Sometimes you just need to put them on the backburner and deal with them when you're ready. It doesn't mean I'm in denial, it just means that there are more appropriate times that others to deal with your life. Driving in the car while crying, not a good thing. Driving in the car, with the music so loud your car vibrates, singing with the windows wide open, much more appropriate. So, although music tends to be a link to my soul, it also help me with dealing with my soul when I'm ready too. Right now, I'm just not ready so let the music ROAR.

Because I Can't Say This To You

Because I can't say this to you, I'm forced to cry my eyes out here. I can't tell you because you won't speak. You won't tell me what you're feeling. You'ld rather bottle them up so they end up hurting me because of your coldness. I never would have thought that you would be this cold. Cold enough where you can't even talk to me. You say this isn't easy for you but are you home crying your eyes out? Are you having to turn the radio in your car so far up so that you hurt your ears but, at least, that way you don't have to drive crying because you've thought of something that you just can't say? No instead you refuse to speak about what needs to be said. So I sis here and wait. Wait for you to speak while we are on this break. I don't even know what it means to be on a break. I don't do well in limbo. Why can you just not talk to me? Why hold it in? How can it be over fifteen months and you don't know how your feeling? How did it get this way without you speaking? How do I fix things if you just won't speak to me? So you don't speak about what's bothering you and you won't speak to me at all. What was I supposed to do? How was I supposed to know? Maybe this is something we need. Time to figure it all out but I hate this. I hate being in limbo. I hate not knowing. I have crying tears every day, every other hour. All because you won't talk about what's going on. So we sit here on this break, without speaking the words that need to be said and I sit here crying the words that I can't say to you, because if I don't get it out, I won't stop crying. Because you won't say words back to me.