THEME SONG

Ok...I found it. My new theme song! I heard this song and have realized it's my life! Every single word to this song is me! Except my pets are Phanton, Squeakers and Max. Everything else is me!!!!! (Maybe my life will end up like the video). Either way, this is my new theme song!!! So enjoy!!!! Let me know if you can't hear it!!!

SOMETHING'S GOTTA GIVE (LeAnn Rimes)

Video Code provided by VideoCodeZone.Com

dates, taxes and a trip to fantasy land

Here you go updates on what's been going on in my life since being sick!

**DATING LIFE - well nothing...been sick. The Public Defender (the date that went well) never called. How rude! I will never understand people. We met for drinks and had dinner outside (70 degree weather in Baltimore....gotta love it). Everything went really well. We chatted (MB did a drive by viewing...have to love my friends) and laughed. I was cute and amusing. So much so that after he paid for dinner, he asked if I wanted to do something else. We couldn't figure out what to do next so we ended up going inside the cafe for coffee. It was fun. He walked me to my car, kissed me goodnight and said he'ld call me. That was two weeks ago. I did, after four or five days, send him an email (because I erased his number on the caller id) that I had a good time. He read it but nothing. I'm telling you, I will never understand people. If I wasn't having a good time and enjoying the other persons company, I wouldn't ask them to do something after dinner (chances are I wouldn't have made it through dinner) and then I would never say I'd call. I'm good with stick my hand out at the end of the night and saying "well it was nice to meet you" (THE END). Oh well! At least I got a free cosmo, dinner and coffee drink for the night!
I was supposed to have a dinner date last night with the Title Attorney but I cancelled. I'm thinking that the best time to go on a first date is not when you are just getting over a stomach virus. We're going to try again next weekend. I'm a little unsure about him. He's funny and I've enjoyed talking to him but he's a little crass. We've been talking for about a week and a half and for some reason he talked to me about farting. He used some terminology that I had never heard of which is, after explanation, when you hold someone's head under the cover and fart under the covers. SERIOUSLY GROSS!!! I am not sure that this is going to be someone that's going to be my prince charming. I'm not sure that this is an appropriate conversation to have with someone that isn't under the age of 10 (probably not even then). ****To all the guys reading this blog....chances are if you do this to a girl, you are SO NOT getting laid for a really really long time. NOT A TURN-ON!!*** Of course being who I am, I had to respond that this is why guys complain that they don't get laid enough because they pull shit like this or even just talk about it. So I have a date with this guy next weekend but after the fart conversation, I'm just not sure.
I'm also talking to an IT guy but I only spoke to him one time for fifteen minutes so I have nothing to say about him.

**TAXES: cashed in a mutual fund and borrowed money from daddy. Going to Atlantic City tomorrow with the parents, who are treating (gambling too...just have to split the winnings) so I'm hoping I strike it big! My father said we're going to have to play some hail mary plays. This is apparantly where you put the top amount of money into a $5 slot machine, pull the lever, and pray for big bucks. Apparantly you can win big money. Maybe I'll win all the money I borrowed from daddy so I won't owe him anything! Anyways, back to reality.....

So that's about it! You're all caught up in the life Cosmopolgirl. Make wishes for me tonight and tomorrow night on the stars that I win big money in Atlantic City. I'll blog about when I get back. Well unless I win millions and then I'll have to hire someone to blog for me!!

See ya next week!

ICK....I'M SICK!!

I am home today (and yesterday too) sick. I hate being sick. I'm tired of being in bed but I'm too exhausted today to do much more than that. Plus there is nothing to watch on television. There are just so many episodes of The Nanny, Golden Girl and Will and Grace that one can watch before wanting to scream. I really hate being sick!!!

OKAY!!

I'm okay...thanks for worrying about me! I kind of got screwed, without knowing it so I didn't expect it, and owe lots and lots of money to the IRS. I'm starting to calm down and think I have a way to pay it back. Unfortunately I'm going to be down-sizing my life. I'm just hoping that I'm not going to need to try the Ramen Noodle Diet (25 cents a pack = less than $7 a week in groceries).
I even joked about starting a fund-raiser on this blog to raise money for the girl who got unfairly screwed but you want to know something......
I'm a real tough cookie, so I'm going to be okay!!! Poor but okay!!

Well I figured now that I'm poor, I'll be staying in more so I'm trying to find out ways to amuse myself!! so......
Just because I just figured out how to do and I need some fun music and I just saw the

Legwarmers

you go...enjoy!!!..please let me know if there are issues!!

SCREWED

Very, very screwed!
Not sure what to do!
Having trouble trying to figure out how to handle this!
Tears won't stop falling!
My face really hurt!
I'm so very screwed!

DEAL-BREAKERS

When it comes to dating everyone's got them. Deal-breakers. Those little things that mean the world to you that no matter how wonderful someone may be, these things smack them way off your dating list. My deal-breaker list is:
1. Must want children - No, not today but eventually. I want to have children and there are no but's about it with this one. You don't, I don't want to date you. DEAL-BREAKER!
2. Must have a job - I'm way too old to date someone without one. I'm all for being in between jobs but more than three to six months in between and that's considered out of work not in between. I don't make enough money to support me, my shoe habit and whatever bad habits you have. Plus, to be frank, I don't want to. No job, not date with me. DEAL-BREAKER!
3. Must not be on drugs - I don't do them, don't want to date someone who is on them. DEAL-BREAKER!
Are these tough thngs to ask for NO!!!! But these three things are major deal-breakers for me. So, what are your deal-breakers? Don't lie I know you have them!

***PS - date last night not why I'm talking about deal-breakers. Date last night pretty good. (I know shocker of all shockers!) We'll see what happens.. i don't hold my breathe, my theory if worse comes to worse at least I got a free meal, couple of drinks and good coversation!...I'll keep you updated!!

GOING HUNTING

Ok......new wackjob on the on-line dating journey!


HERE WE GO.....THE JEW HUNTER!!!

This is, basically, how the conversation went after the deal breaker conversation (will discuss dealbreakers at a later date....that's what I thought I was going to blog about today but this just annoyed me...I thought I would share)

JH - blah...blah...blah....So, are you religious?
ME- No....I kind of just did this website because I figured it was a little bit more discriminating (boy was I wrong)
JH - well I'm not jewish
ME - (dumbfounded) You're not jewish and you're on a jewish dating service?????
JH - Yeah, I put in my profile that I am not religious and I don't want to convert
ME - (still dumbfounded) But since this is a jewish dating service don't you think people will think that means that you're jewish and not religious on that end. Plus you don't want to convert to a different religion.
JH - I guess so
ME (kind of annoyed now after thinking about it) Don't you think that's kind of false advertising??
JH - Well a friend of my went on this website and hooked up with a girl so I thought it would be a good idea.
ME - so is the friend jewish?
JH - yeah...what difference does it make? a hook-up is a hook up
ME - (seriously annoyed now) WHAT DIFFERENCE DOES IT MAKE?? BIG DIFFERENCE! It's false advertising.

He switched off after that comment from me.

Why would you go on a jewish on-line dating service if you are not jewish? I would say that's got to be false advertising. What are you jew hunting? It's just wrong. It really annoyed me!

TAG I'M IT!

Ok...so Livia tagged me. Here we go, I'm answering it!!

List seven songs you are into right now. No matter what the genre, whether they have words, or even if they're any good, but they must be songs you're really enjoying now. Post these instructions in your blog along with your seven songs. Then tag seven other people to see what they're listening to.
1. Since You've Been Gone - Kelly Clarkson (thanks HipChick for this one. I now walk around singing it constantly)
2. Margartaville - Jimmy Buffet (wishing I was at the beach at this moment)
3. Hemmorage - Fuel (the very sexy guy from American Idol sang it last week but I loved it before that)
4. Crush - Jennifer Paige (I will blast thing song at home and dance around the house singing it)
5. Angel - Aerosmith (I had a guy serenade this song to me and I've loved it ever since)
6. Mr. Brightside - The Killers (I love the acoustic version)
7. Anything Bon Jovi (I love him)
8. Anything Josh Gracin (I know it said 7 but he's so sexy I had to add him)
I'm Tagging: Anyone who wants to play along!! If you read this, go ahead, PLAY!! Tell me in the comments!

EVERY JEWISH MOTHERS DREAM

Tonight I made a date with every jewish mother's dream. No, not a doctor....A LAWYER. I can hear the ooh's and aah's out there from all the jewish mothers!! He's from that on-line dating thing I'm trying out again. He made me laugh so I agreed. And shocker or all shockers (especially to those who know me) I agreed to go out with him on Saturday night. We are meeting at a local mexican restaurant for drinks. Then if we don't bore eachother to tears we're going to try dinner. This was a mutual decision. We joked about the needing a place with several exits and, my favorite, having someone on speed dial in case things completely suck! So, wish me luck!!

******Love and kisses going out to MB's hubby's father. Yesterday was his viewing and today was the service. He was a huge fighter and a wonderful man who actually loved his wife for over 50 years and was a great father. Two amazing traits you don't find in men these days! Love and kisses!!! You will be missed.*************

TAKING THE ON-LINE DATING ROAD AGAIN!!!

One of my goals for 2006 is to get out and date more. 2005 was kind of a pathetic couple of first date’s year. I kind of feel like I need to get out and have more fun so why not do more dating. So I signed up for this on-line dating site. STORIES....STORIES....STORIES....WILL BE A COMING!!

Here we go story #1: The Drama King!!
So I'm on the dating site and get this im from this guy who I'll call the Drama King (DK for short). So this is what the im session looked like -paraphrased (my thoughts in parenthesis)

DK - I just sent you an email have you read it
ME - (so much for a hi, how are you) NO not yet
DK - well I’ll wait go read it
ME (okay ...weirdo alert starting to go up) Well why don’t' you tell me what it says since we're talking (you know a conversation)
DK - well I sent it to you in an email just go read it
ME - (a little annoyed) Wouldn't you rather tell me while talking instead of me going and reading it (you know, like a conversation)
DK - no, I'll wait
ME (annoyed now and trust me he's not looking good) ok...hold on

Now here is part of the email

"while I can have the patience of a saint in most areas, and realize we all have our own "issues and baggage" to deal with, my goal on this site is to meet and marry my bashert and not get caught up in her drama or be a knight in shining armor. I am happy to work with my partner to lighten her baggage, but I'm also here to date assertively and not be a problem solver. Folks hire consultants for that. Again, not bitter here, just getting tired of the drama. If one really wants to marry, then one should be considering it a full time job in addition to one's "real" full time job, which is what I do. How about you?"

Ok, now from this email I am so not interested. No I do not consider finding someone I want to marry a full time job. I have a life. If it happens, it happens. Plus, this is not a happy email that I want to get from someone on a first meeting. Light and fluffy that's what I want before I even know your first name.

DK - Did you read it yet? Do you have a lot of drama in your life?
ME (being all philosophical...thinking this guy is a major freak) I think that everybody has a lot of things going on in their lives but drama is all about how you handle it
DK - I don’t' have anything going on in my life and I don't want someone with a lot of drama going on in their lives. Too many girls I've met have a lot of drama in their life and I'm not interested in it.
ME - (seriously annoyed right now) To me hearing this stuff from you is allot of "issues and baggage" on your part. I don't even know you and you are giving me all this junk.
DK - So I take it your not interested
Me - (duh-huh) No, sorry. Have a nice life. (you crazy nut)

There was a couple of other freaky stuff but that was the gist of it!

So this is the start of my on-line dating. Wish me luck and if not luck with meeting someone fun and exciting, at least wish for me interesting stories to tell you! I'm sure there will be lots!!!!

HONESTLY

Ok....so I'm still in a writing blah. Things have been funny (away with Hipchick for a seminar, trying on-line dating again, fell down and went boom so now I'm limping along) but I'm not motivated enough to write about them. So, instead I am stealing a post from Livia. Visit her blog and say hello.

Honestly is a must... (stupid MySpace survey)

1. Honestly, are you happy right now? so-so...nothing to be unhappy about-nothing to be happy about
2. Honestly, what color is your underwear? Still in my jammies, so none
3. Honestly, whats on your mind right now? How can I get out of running errands today - feel like being a bum
4. Honestly, what are you doing right now? um, typing this blog (duh)
5. Honestly, what did you do today? So far ate breakfast, took care of MB's dogs, watched a cheesy movie on tv (Down to you or something like htat)
6. Honestly, do you think you are attractive? Some days
7. Honestly, have you done something bad today? not yet
8. Honestly, do you watch disney channel? Nope
.9. Honestly, do you regret anything you've done lately? no, not really. I've wished I would have handled situations differently but don't regret anything....no point
10. Honestly, what makes you happy most of the time? laughter
11. Honestly, do you bite your nails? yep, anytime I stress or am bored
12. Honestly, what is your mood right now? lazy
13. Honestly, do you have an eating disorder? nope but sometimes I wish I did
14. Honestly, do you want to see someone this very minute?Yes
15. Honestly, do you have a deep dark secret? that nobody else knows, no
16. Honestly, do you hate someone right now? hate is such a strong word....no not hate!
17. Honestly, who/what do you want to hug right now? who....don't have anybody I want to but i could use a good deep strong hug!
18. Honestly, are you loyal? to a fault
19. Honestly are you in denial? I'm denying I'm in denial
20. Honestly, wouldn't you rather be having sex right now? Is there anybody who wouldn't???
21. Honestly, have you ever consumed alcohol? no, not me! Are you nuts, of course I have
22. Honestly, do you like someone? no, haven't met anybody in a while that I can crush on
23. Honestly, does anyone like you? If there is, I wish they would tell me
24. Honestly, did you answer all these questions honestly? yep, boring life lately....nothing to hide!

LAST PERSON...
1 That slept in bed beside you? Do two cats and a dog count???
2 Saw you cry? can't remember the last time I cried
3. Went to the mall with? ummm, I went shopping with the girl who dates the aliens a few weeks ago at an outside mall-type place
5. You went out to dinner with? Girl who dates the aliens
6. You talked on the phone? technician for one of my families
7. Broke your heart? been so long, don't know
8. Made you laugh? MB's dog Bella trying to jump up and open the porch door with her head

ARE YOU?
1. Simple or complicated? Simple
2. Gay? nope
3. Hardcore? occasionally

1. What time is it? 12:53pm
2. Name? michelle
3. Nickname(s): Shel, ShellY (hate that one) Mich-mosh
4. Where were you born? New York City
5. What is your birthdate? may 13,
6. What do you want? Lots of things
7. Where do you want to live? somewhere over the rainbow (i'm not sure)